Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

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“Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood”

Steven Covey – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Habit 5)

Seeking first to understand someone requires courage, character, and quality.

To be understood, you must be willing to learn about someone else’s perspective and gain their trust. When you do, you can then present a valid argument and make them believe your side of the story. Ultimately, seeking to understand others is a win-win situation that increases your circle of influence and builds your credibility.

It’s important to remember that the person across the table from you will not think or behave in the same way as you do. Their viewpoint and opinions may differ from yours. It is important to remember that the concept of “seek first to understand, then to be understood” involves a fundamental shift in paradigms. When we listen to others, we filter everything through our own perspectives and agendas. Often, we read their autobiography into the words of other people.

When you listen to someone else, you must understand his or her perspective and make them feel that you understand them. This is the key to effective interaction and helps you identify a solution that is beneficial to both of you. It’s also important to remember that there are times when you will be wrong, and you will need to learn to listen to the other person before making any decisions. It’s not easy to understand someone else’s perspective, but it’s essential to try and gain their trust.

Understanding someone’s point of view requires you to seek to understand them first. Trying to understand a person’s perspective requires you to listen to their point of view and try to imagine what they’re feeling. The process of listening is a process that requires a paradigm shift. Most people listen with the intention of responding, speaking, or adding their own opinion. They filter everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography.

When you listen to someone, you need to understand their point of view. It’s critical to understand the perspective of the other person before you can be understood. It’s important to have the courage to be sensitive and not hurt the other person’s feelings. You might find it helpful to share your autobiography, but it’s not necessary to do it. A simple way to make yourself more vulnerable is to listen to someone who has been able to overcome a major hurdle.

The ability to listen to a person’s point of view is an essential part of the process of becoming an effective communicator. It is a fundamental skill in life and a key factor in building trust. When you seek to be understood by others, you will be able to give the other person the benefit of your experience. While this is not always easy, you need to seek to understand the other person’s point of view and be a better listener.

You might feel uncomfortable with this concept at first, but it’s the opposite of what you’re used to. It’s impossible to truly understand someone if you don’t understand them. So, seek to be understood. The more you can understand others, the better you can be understood. When you seek to understand someone, you will be able to better understand their position.

When you seek to understand someone, you must listen to their point of view and not to just your own. You must listen to the words and nonverbal cues of the other person. This is crucial if you want to be a good communicator. Otherwise, you will be a bad communicator. The next time you are in a conversation, you should be listening with an open mind. You will learn how to be a better communicator, and you will build better relationships with people.

This is a fundamental rule of communication. In order to be understood, you must listen empathically and validate the other person’s position. Often, this will be difficult. However, it will lead you to a more meaningful relationship with the other person. When you listen deeply and listen for the details of the other person, you will be able to express your own truth.


  • From a communications standpoint, you always need to make the other person feel “heard” before they are willing to “hear you”
  • If you are not listening to understand, then you are probably missing the point of what the person is actually trying to say or what they actually want, which puts you in a weaker bargaining position.
Seek first to understand Then to be understood | Empathic Listening | Habit 5 
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